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Did you know that Thanksgiving is a U.S. holiday thanks* to a 19th-century women’s magazine editor? Learn the non-Pilgrim history behind today’s turkey feasting and why it takes place on Thursdays in the newest Stuff Mom Never Told You.

Stuff Mom Never Told You (facebook status)

Bam. Thanksgiving likely doesn’t even have roots in the time of pilgrims.

It’s Christmas time at Target! 1) have y’all tried these Oreos yet? They’re totes amazing. 2) why are there so many different kinds of Christmas goldfish? I’m not complaining, but it might be excessive. 3) look at all the pretty wrapping paper! I need some new patterns for presents this year (if I’m able to actually give any. I’ll find a way). 4) this is going to be my Christmas tree! I live with my parents, and every year I have my own small fake tree. I used the same one every year until two years ago when it started falling apart. Last year I got a tree that was way too big and really hard to put ornaments on. I know Christmas isn’t supposed to be about material things, but that Christmas tree made me almost cry. I was so upset. But this tree looks like the perfect one. Small and simple. :) whatever you celebrate or don’t celebrate, ‘tis the season to be jolly and spread joy and love!

Ugh, my brainnnnnn.

I’m of the mindset that everything I feel is in my head. Anger, love, lust, happiness, etc. It’s all electricity and neurotransmitters sending signals in different areas of my brain, causing me to feel certain emotions. Blaming biology is an excellent way to get out of feeling totally out of control of my body, because my brain knows what it’s doing. It’s very controlled in a chaotic way.

So, when I have these crazy, intense feelings for a boy I hardly know, even if I can’t make myself feel differently, I can logically acknowledge that all I’m feeling is lust caused by some combination of neurotransmitters and hormones. And it’s just something that I have to let play out, because eventually it has to calm down. Just like a celebrity crush. Those always die down after I see every movie with the person and sufficiently look up every picture of them that I can find.

And it’s the same with grief or anger. Your brain reacts the way it needs to react, and then it heals, and it helps you heal. And eventually you become stable again. You reach homeostasis.

As the cliche goes, this too shall pass.



1. Calling women sluts/whores/skanks is a form of sexism.
When it comes to costumes, clothing, and sexual behavior, women are judged by a very different rubric than men.  When a guy has a lot of sex, he’s a stud.  If a woman behaves the same way, she’s a “whore”, “dirty”, “used up”, and doesn’t deserve to be treated with respect.  While people may use terms like “manslut” or “manwhore”, the consequences for the “manwhore” are not nearly as extreme.  People don’t see him as unworthy of respect.  He won’t be degraded, bullied, or have lies and rumors spread about him.  His reputation won’t be destroyed.  Being a “manwhore” is dismissed as him *~just being a guy~*.  

Because slut shame is a result of sexist ideas about what a woman “should” be or is allowed to do/be in the first place, women slut-shaming each other is a form of internalized sexism.  This is where a woman believes sexist things about herself and other women.  It can be very disruptive and harmful to women’s relationships with each other.  

These are some of the ways slut shame is entrenched in sexism.

2. Slut shame limits women’s freedom.
Calling women names and degrading them when they *break the rules* about how a woman is SUPPOSED to dress or behave ensures that women don’t have the same freedom men do.  They are not allowed to dress or do what they like…unless they want to pay the price of being bullied or dehumanized for it.

3. Slut shame is one of the ways women compete with each other for male approval.  
Slut-shaming creates a divide between women.  There are the “slutty stupid ones” with “no self respect” and there are the “proper ladies” who deserve to be treated as human.  Instead of building women up and cultivating healthy friendships, slut shame turns women against each other so that the slut-shamer can prove she’s “not like that” and therefore worthy of respect.  It puts women into harmful categories based on nothing more than how someone dresses or is perceived by others.  

4. Slut shame is a form of bullying.
Girls who break outside the mold of what they are supposed to do/be sexually and are thusly labeled sluts are at a higher risk of anxiety, depression, and suicide.  There have been many suicides that started with bullying in the form of slut shame. RIP Felicia Garcia, Amanda Todd, Phoebe Prince, Hope Witsell, Stacey Rambold’s unnamed victim, and all the other young women who have tragically taken their own lives because of the heartlessness and sexism of their peers.

5. Slut shame leads to rape, sexual assault, and sexual violence.
Because people see “sluts” as unworthy of respect, she is therefore not entitled to say no.  In this mentality, “sluts” become a target of harassment, assault, and even rape.  After the violence, she is then blamed for it.  After all, she was just a dumb slut….she asked for it, right?

This Halloween (and always) be a good person.  Respect women, respect their choices, and check yourself when you find yourself thinking or saying someone is a slut.  It’s a deeply held attitude about women that we all learn from our sexist culture, and it is vital that we all take the time to unlearn it.  These attitudes are more vicious and dangerous than they might appear.



OMG, so much yes. All the yes.

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